I’m no high paid “Television Executive”, but I think you screwed up ABC. Just as I’m getting into two of your new programs, you, in all your infinite wisdom, decide to move them to a new night and time. No big deal you say? Yes it is a big deal, because the new night and times already host some of my other favorite shows. DVR them you say? I can only DVR two programs at one time. Which means the third show is out of luck.

It is only about three weeks into the fall season, so I haven’t gotten too attached to the new shows yet, but that’s not the point. The point is, I don’t understand the mentality behind attempting to fix something that isn’t broken. ABC is already the Chicago of the Olympic Cities. Are you trying to drive away the handful of viewers you have left? Apparently ABC stands for All But Closed. Do you NOT want people to watch your network ABC? You are already a distant fourth to FOX, CBS, and NBC. Seems like to me, you would place shows in time slots that would give them the best chance for success, not up against powerhouses like GLEE, LAW & ORDER, CRIMINAL MINDS, BONES, COMMUNITY, PARKS AND RECREATION, and SURVIVOR: DETRIOT SAMOA. What’s wrong with Monday? Do we need 2 hours of Dancing With the Stars? Do we really need 1 hour for that matter? What about Tuesday night? I’m pretty sure you could beat The Biggest Loser. I can’t even watch that show. First of all, if that Jillian yelled at me like that, I’d punch her right in the fun bags. Second, there’s something about watching fat people run on a treadmill while I sit in my recliner and eat snacks, makes me feel guilty. Friday night? Saturday night? Pretty much any night BUT Wednesday or Thursday. The only two nights of the week your shows are doomed to fail, just happens to be the two nights you pick? Was there some kind of Board meeting? Was there a vote? A vote of the Norwegian Parliament? You basically had a 5 out of 7 chance. That’s a 70% chance that you would pick one of the best nights for Nielsen ratings domination. Way to go eggheads. You missed.

I guess I just needed to vent. I’m not saying I’m a die hard Flash Forward fan already, but I would like to see what the heck that stupid kangaroo had to do with the plot. And I want to know if Kumar actually dies or avoids his own death. Now I may never know. And the new show Modern Family was really funny. And it kinda felt like a Married with Children Reunion on my DVR every week. With Ed O’Neil starring in Modern Family and Katey Sagal starring in Sons of Anarchy, it just feels right. Since I’m on the subject, 1989 Katey Sagal vs. 2009 Katey Sagal? And the winner is …. 2009 Katey Sagal. Twenty years plus copious amounts of skin tight leather = SMOKING HOT. You know what they say, “The older the berry the sweeter the ….. Ok, I got distracted and off the subject. My point is, ABC, you’ll never catch up to the other networks until …. well, until you hire me, pay me millions, and allow me to make these type decisions for you. Because let’s face it, you are obviously not capable of handling these things yourself.  So call me before the CW makes you their …. well, you know.