
It’s time to sit back and reminisce once again. **Que squiggly lines … dootalootadoot … dootalootadoot … dootalootadoot … ** (Wayne’s World reference).
We regain our bearings to find ourselves standing in the backyard. But why? DUCK!!!!!!! Yes! It’s Lawn Darts! Which marketing genius from which medical supply company came up with this one. I can hear the pitch meeting. Ok guys, we’re gonna make a game to be played outside. One team will be on one end of the yard and the other team about 25 feet away. You put a small hula hoop on the ground in front of you. Then each team “throws” tiny spears toward the other team’s hoop to see how many you can land in the hoop. Oh, and you’ll have to throw them high, because it only counts if it sticks in the ground. But Bill, aren’t spears dangerous? No Mark, we are gonna make them small, so kids can play too.
Can you believe our parents bought these little meteorites of death? Lawn Darts sold like crazy. They became a summertime bar-b-que favorite for a couple of reasons. First, you don’t have to walk back and forth like some of those other games like horse shoes. Who needs all that pointless walking? This is supposed to be a game, not exercise. Second, you never have to put down your beer. It only takes one hand to hurl one of these jugular-javelins. But sadly, in 1988, they were banned. But don’t be sad, it was for the best. It’s like I always say, “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than an frontal lobotomy”.